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Whacky Tips To increase your CTC Yes its exactly what you think

CTC if you look at these three words “C”, “T”, “C” at the first glance they look pretty simple straight forward. If west life (the boy band you are right) looked at it they would have said wow this guy is talking about Coast to Coast event after a decade. For astute followers of tea it stands for “Crush, Tea, and Curl” but no I am not talking on these dimensions. Even I just googled the latter definition of CTC just now ;). Coming to point and not shining the bullshit further today’s post of CTC I meant cost to company. I don’t know who has coined this term but whoever did it must be very naughty. HR people I can see the spark in your eyes. Ahh I remebered there was a India Tea commercial also called CTC eEa :)

Simply speaking CTC is your cost to the company/organization where you work. Since first relation between employee and employer is economic relation (Quoted from Direction, Vineet Nayar 2008 I guess) it is this figure that company pays you. If your CTC is 6,000,000 Indian Rupees Per Annum it doesn’t mean that you will get amount of 6,000,000 divided by 12 in your bank account at the end of every month but this definitely meant that whensoever employers look at you he aslo looks at this number. This sick number is even divided into so many sub-parts that employees get terrified and when the pretty HR is telling you all these numbers you could be thinking about her assets ;) and not the actual money and once the eye opener happens people don’t like it. They go to the department head and they are given a response that is break up of CTC (I never thought CTC can be further divided as it only has 3 characters it is already simple) so employee thinks that I must do everything to increase my CTC. In business schools they even teach how to create a smart compensation package. The only caveat is people creating this CTC thinks they are smart but the truth is everyone around them is smart too and now the games get really interesting or kick ass I should say.

During my short span of life (I am 7 year old) I have noticed various techniques which people follow to increase CTC Lets start yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!—

  • When I was old around 40 and studied in school I was not paid anything. So I increased my CTC by persuading my parents to buy me things. Like Mummyyyyy I need video game. Please note once you increase your CTC someone else’s CTC goes south in this case my parents.
  • My ex manager I call her Gagu  Darling she used to open while she was paid to work and raised money.
  • My colleague used to hook up with girls of Delhi using Skype. (Love makes people do crazy things)
  • Bulldozer you tube :- One of my friends RD who sit s diagonally opposite to me likes to utilize company bandwidth and watch videos in HQ on your tube hence stress testing YouTube is a nice way to take your CTC north.
  • Another Launda (read as lowndaa for people who don’t understand Hindi it is what is dude in English) nicknamed PJ does chat with girls of other company (euphemism business engagement) and search for jobs/make relation in the company.
  • JB usually searches for musical instrument and compositions on internet.
  • The most common in hardcore sales (I still wonder which core is hard) people use petrol of INR 200 and get INR 500 refunded from firm by fake bill.
  •  Printing comics/tickets/( this is quite common I guess)
  •  Utilizing gymnasium and TT room as if you are preparing for Olympics.
These are some ways on which you can increase your CTC. Needless to say you can slap or kick people as wellJ. Also notice something’s money can’t buy for everything else there is a MasterCard. So that Something’s are not meant to be purchased they are meant to be taken by any of the above methods. 

Now the biggest shocker is still to come. My Mother had and old purse. She is deeply attached to it and loves it more than me (sob: P) but after a year the purse left for heaven. Before burying it or I should say hanging it on the tree outside my house so cleaner can take it My Mother did X-Ray of purse to ensure no coin/article was left in the purse. I was shell shocked to hear this and this is an example of healthcare domain. 

I understand I have left lots of stones untouched since I am young. If you have done something cool on these lines please share the knowledge. Till that time keep finding methods to increase your value oops CTC.

Stay Young Stay Raw.


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