One of the worst things I about corporate rut is called a CV. Bhecnho
people trust a piece of paper more than you. We right all terms like
innovative, instrumental, dynamic, agressive and all kind of Crap. Which
mkaes it look like a biggest piece of fiction. Then there are HR
experts who fight on difference between resume and CV. Ladies and
gentleman, I present you the new list bakchod CV which is a true
reflection of who you are. To create a backhod CV you need to write down
the truth about yourself on the paper bina darey. For example I will
write about PJ. So here is how it looks:-
Name: PJ a.k.a Ricky behel
Date of Birth: Sweet 16.
Address:-operations- Dhakoli, Zirakpur. Production Tohanna, Hariyana. Sales
Office:- Noida, Norway, Ccalifornia, Japan, Bhenchod world is not enough. I have a plot on Mars also.
Phone Number:- +91-696696969
Objective:- Har ek haseena ke, bank account me , debit se dikhna hey mujhey.
Uskey paas ferrari ho, Jismey meri sawaree ho, Foreign Woren Me Ghumoon, NRI ki wo choree ho.
30 years of expeirience in doing bahasad and creating relation ship.
Janam se hee sambandh bana raha hoon. School ke madam se le ke , company
ke CEO tak, saarey Log mujhey Jaantey hein. ye sales business
development, proposal sab chod hey. Me to SME hoon. Sambandh Matter
expert. These fucking organizations can't measure my potential.
Break dancer: - Govinda or prabhu deva mere shishya hein. Yeh apps website to sab chalawa hey.
Property Buyer:- I am rajnikaant of Propert Segment. Duniya ko koi kona
nahee hey , jahaan meri chaap no ho. Also I have most number of Tata
Cars owned by any Indian. I am a platinum customer for Tata Motors.
Chick Khiladi:- Saarey Lowndiyaan meri ek smile pey kurbaan hein. Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin sab jagah samband hein.
Three mistakes of My life. Non Medical, Engineering & MBA.
In my computer science curriculum I learned how to play games, watch
movies, blue movies and surf internet. During MBA I learned how to speak
englisg but the entire faculty failed and started to tralk with Me in
Hindi and Hariyanvi.
Please note hoshiyaar me shuuru se hoon
ghamand kabhee nahee kiya. I write in immaculate english agar man ho. My
parents also fade sometimes when I speak in english. But that is like
once in a blue Moon.
Intrest:- Property, Relations, Bridging
the gaps between Single, available chicks and My Iron Man. Ed Hardy
TShirt and Rayban watch.
Languages:- Hariyanvi, Hindi and English( Only on Special demand)
Business Etiquettes:- Eating Food with hands with akhbar on bed and sitting while doing Chownkdee.
Sports:- Yoga, Kaam- Yoga, Power Yoga in all 69 positions:.
For complete CV on me please buy the package at USD 10,00000.
So this is how a Bakchod CV looks like. I hope to see it as the yard stick used to select talented candidates like us .
Is article ko padtey huey agar aapko Laagey kee kaheen spelling mistake
hey, formatting theek nahee hey ya crisp bhasha nahee hey. To kasam
Chowda ke, aap chutiye hein.
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